Saddened at the death of Boris Yeltsin?
Wondering how to celebrate the passing of one of the World’s most influential leaders?
Or just fancy a damn good party?
Then let T4td bring you a new product sensation…
The Boris Yeltsin All-in-one
Wake Kit!
Each kit comes complete with:
- Vodka - 2 cases of 12 extra large bottles, industrial strength (see note 1)
- Shot glasses - 1 box of 100, single-use, EasySmash Glass(TM)
- Replica Fireplace kit - made from sturdy fibreglass, to throw empty glasses at (see note 2)
- Stirring Russian Music - 5 CD’s featuring all the great military anthems (see note 3)
- Conductor’s Baton - flexible yet strong enough to withstand a friendly tussle over who gets to wave it.
Notes:
1) The warning label on the vodka is for joke/novelty value - of course the vodka is intended for human consumption, otherwise we wouldn’t sell it to you.
2) Not an actual fireplace so not suitable for any heating purpose. What are you - some kind of idiot?
3) CD’s 3 and 5 are the same, but by the time you get to them you won’t notice or care and in fact, your hearing may have become permanently damaged anyway.
Enjoy the wake - it may turn out to be your own.
NB.
T4td will not be held responsible for any consequences arising from the use of your wake kit, particularly, though not limited to, any rebellions you crush, wars you start, gangsters you reward or evil spies that you place in power.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
T4td - Thought 4 the Day
We’re one step ahead at keeping behind you.
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