For all the Uberparents out there.

Controlling the cries of an inconsolable baby is one of the first true tests any parent goes through. It’s one of those things that will keep you up all night regardless of which sleep medication you prefer. Sure, you have to be to work at sunrise, but they don’t know that! All they know is that they are NOT happy! And while putting in Episode IV may work when you’re upset, children are an entirely different monster (think more Godzilla, rather than Sloth).

The Why Cry Baby Analyzer is the baby monitor of your dreams! Its advanced frequency analysis technology only needs 20 seconds to let you know why your child is screaming to the heavens. Whether your baby is Stressed, Sleepy, Annoyed, Bored or Hungry, this device will identify it on its LCD screen. In addition to being very portable (adjustable velcro strap for easy attachment), it comes equipped with a symptoms chart and guide with tips on how to properly stimulate your child’s development. Not to mention being your ticket to some peace and quiet!

Now get a good night’s sleep. 3:00 a.m. comes early.

More info: Why Cry Baby Analyzer

- Baby wants to look fancy

I just don’t get it. What’s up with this obsession with poofy lips which it seems Angelina Jolie (aka Hamburger Lips) started.Now use the suction ball to look as “sexy” as her!

When I was a teen I was sucking on a glass until the vacuum was sealing it on my lips. Funny .. hahah. After 5 minutes or so I had huge giant hicky around my lips. Which made me look like a clown. And yes, of course I had to go to school next day. Just so you know. Pretty sure that poofy lip maker above won’t create such suction, only nice and poofy, giant, sexy lips. Happy pumping!

No injections, no pain, no nonsense tingling cream.

Most beauty experts agree that plump lips are the most important feature for a young and attractive look. CosmeSearch, Inc, a leader in innovative beauty products, has invented a new lip plumping and enhancing system. Here is how it works: Micro Collagen Plumping Balm will penetrate and hydrate the lips. The Plumping Device gently activates molecules, dramatically increases lip size by plumping up lips naturally. Fuller lips don’t have to cost a fortune.

More info: DIY Giant, Huge maybe Sexy Lip Set

- Super Cheap Fashion

Wondering if I could attach the portable microwave somehow.

This vest is like a solar power station to keep your cell phone, portable media player, notebook computer, digital camera, and other portable electronics fully powered while you are working outdoors. This "fashion-tech" canvas vest is the perfect field accessory for photographers, archeologists, investigators, geologists, and anyone else constantly working outdoors.

The CVFR-S09 Solar Vest is designed for your comfort and convenience. It comes with big storage pockets for holding tools or camera equipment and includes a battery pack + cables and connectors for all of today’s popular portable electronics. The vest’s canvas is soft but durable and the stitching is second to none. The vest’s 4 solar panels are laminated to be truly weatherproof, so you don’t have to change this vest just because the weather is bad. You can also detach the solar panels and place them in sunlight while you are working inside a cave or shaded terrain.

So how do you use it? Well, just because it’s high tech and super hip doesn’t mean it’s difficult to use. While you walk outside, the four solar panels on the back of the vest absorb solar energy and store it in a high-capacity battery located in the front left pocket. When your cell phone or other gadget needs power, just plug it into the battery and let it charge. Simple as that!

The CVFR-S09 is a must have item for the next time you hike, travel cross country, backpack, or go cruising for chicks. This item is in stock and available for single quantity or bulk orders, so grab one for yourself today or purchase five to resell on your internet storefront.

More info: Solar Vest

- Neglected Movie Gem: Rapid Dogs

J-List is a peaceful island of Japanese pop culture for you

This puzzle would be … emm .. .just way too frustrating for me. AKA torture puzzle.

World’s smallest jigsaw puzzle shrinks New York City’s Times Square to the size of a postcard! Rush-hour traffic and the dazzling lights of Broadway will fit in the palm of your hand once this 204-piece challenge is completed. Great gift for the avid "puzzler". A pair of tweezers are provided and come in handy in making the microscopic connections. Features the smallest pieces ever to be die-cut. Paper board, 4 x 6".

More info: World Smallest Puzzle – Times Square

- Cheap Car Rentals in Spain

Real cats should learn from this.

French artist Frederic Levesque joins a long list of countrymen who’d choose finicky felines over feathered friends with his tongue-in-cheek sculptural birdhouse! Though it takes a brave bird to approach the piercing green eyes and deceptive "welcome mat" tongue of this humorously sculpted, quality designer resin sculpture, your "invitation" is easily mounted to tree, wall or fence for instant garden gaiety. Bird not included.

More info: Bizarre Cat Head Birdhouse

- 3D Shark

Wear this to protect yourself from spam mail and send a message to your work mates. And the thing with the spam mail is just a joke. Right?!

Many people are confused about what exactly a "coif" is. Some think it’s a type of hairdo, while others think it’s a sound you make in the back of your throat… but actually a coif is a type of close fitting hat. In medieval times this was usually some kind of armor worn underneath a hood or helm. Since we know you’re no sissy we’re offering you only the armor based variety of coif, made out of metal chain mail.

The Chain Mail Coif is honest-to-goodness real metal chain mail hand forged by dwarfs in forbidden mines near the center of the earth and delivered to the Geek warehouse by shrieking black apparitions in the dead of night. Its bright shine and relatively light-weight comes from its anodized aluminum construction. It’s appropriate protective wear for most occasions including office meetings and parties you would rather not have attended.

 

More info: Office Knight will slash down Emails

- What do you think is the best gaming console?

Ok, Tarzan just in case you have to swing from skyscraper to skyscraper to save your James or Jane.

Picture this: you are out boating with a friend, when suddenly you see a woman get trapped in branches of a fallen tree. She is struggling to survive, but the water is rough and risky to swim in. But you are wearing your SurvivalStraps Survival Bracelet, which you quickly unravel into 14′ of paracord. You hold one end and give your friend the other. A quick swim to the trapped woman and you have her in your arms. Your friend then helps haul you in by pulling the paracord. It might sound like fiction, but the above is a true story. A life saved because of a SurvivalStraps Survival Bracelet.

More info: SurvivalStraps Survival Bracelet

- Now, There Will Be 10 Best Picture Nominees